Sunday, October 25, 2009
Making Amends
Last night I had the opportunity to attend an event with a great friend of mine. The evening went well, but when the evening was ending I made a comment that hurt this person. I have apologized, and only time will tell if they are able to forgive me and move forward. I have been physically ill all night knowing that I hurt this person so terribly with words. It certainly wasn't intentional, and I hope they can forgive me. If you are a praying person, please pray for this situation for me.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Really, It's Been This Long?
I can't believe it's been over 3 months since I added a little note. What's wrong with me? It's called work, church, kids....in a nutshell...LIFE. ;)
Not complaining, though...
What's new? Work is busier than ever. Don't know if I've mentioned it, but I am an office administrator. I call myself the "official paper shuffler". I work for the regional office (sales & distribution center) of a national heating & air manufacturer. It's going on 9 years, and I still love it. I am blessed!
The kids are doing as well as they can be. My oldest ~~~~BIG NEWS~~~~ enlisted in the Marines ~~~ actually swore in on September 1st. He is scheduled to ship out 3 days after graduation in May. I think it will be great for him, and I am so proud that he's made this decision. My youngest, my youngest son....now he says he wants to enlist when he's old enough. Only God knows what the future holds for my sons. I have to leave it in His hands...if not, I'll just be a blubbering basket case!
Church ~ Once again, I know I'm blessed. I have a wonderful church home. I had to open myself up to finding one last year. God placed a wonderful friend in my life that invited me to the church. I prayed over it, then visited. I LOVED IT! I joined in April of this year. I have prayed that God would find somewhere for me to serve, and it fell in my lap in late August and September. I was on the committee for the annual "Block Party", which is a community outreach event. It was a blast! I was blessed by the process, and met some great new friends. I have involved myself in the church, and I know I am blessed. It is by no mistake that I am there!
Life ~ Life is wonderful. It really is...It is not by accident that I have a great home, a wonderful church home and friends and family. I will continue to strive each day to let all in my life know how much I love and care for them!
Not complaining, though...
What's new? Work is busier than ever. Don't know if I've mentioned it, but I am an office administrator. I call myself the "official paper shuffler". I work for the regional office (sales & distribution center) of a national heating & air manufacturer. It's going on 9 years, and I still love it. I am blessed!
The kids are doing as well as they can be. My oldest ~~~~BIG NEWS~~~~ enlisted in the Marines ~~~ actually swore in on September 1st. He is scheduled to ship out 3 days after graduation in May. I think it will be great for him, and I am so proud that he's made this decision. My youngest, my youngest son....now he says he wants to enlist when he's old enough. Only God knows what the future holds for my sons. I have to leave it in His hands...if not, I'll just be a blubbering basket case!
Church ~ Once again, I know I'm blessed. I have a wonderful church home. I had to open myself up to finding one last year. God placed a wonderful friend in my life that invited me to the church. I prayed over it, then visited. I LOVED IT! I joined in April of this year. I have prayed that God would find somewhere for me to serve, and it fell in my lap in late August and September. I was on the committee for the annual "Block Party", which is a community outreach event. It was a blast! I was blessed by the process, and met some great new friends. I have involved myself in the church, and I know I am blessed. It is by no mistake that I am there!
Life ~ Life is wonderful. It really is...It is not by accident that I have a great home, a wonderful church home and friends and family. I will continue to strive each day to let all in my life know how much I love and care for them!
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Happy Saturday
Don't you just love a slow Saturday morning? I woke up at 5 am and was kind of frustrated that my inner clock just wouldn't let me go back to sleep. Let me explain. I get up most week days at 5 so I can be in the office no later than 7 am. Well, last week I made it in at 7 three out of five days, which really isn't bad since I don't have to be there until 8, right?
Well, back to my story...I LOVE SLEEP. The problem is for the past year or so, I'm not able to do a lot of it. It's really hard for me to stay in bed past 6:30 or 7. AND I have trouble going to sleep! So, last night I went to bed about 9:30 or 10, and was wide awake at 5. Of course, did I become productive that early? Heck no...I layed around drinking coffee.
My youngest son and I climbed this morning. We left home around 7:30 and were up on the top by 9:30 (it takes about 30 minutes to get there). I am frustrated that I didn't make it up within the normal 25 - 35 minutes. Last fall I was able to achieve it week after week. But now I just can't. I had to stop on the way up no less than 7 times. UGH! I guess I'll just have to work back up to that. At least I'm trying.
Mornings like this are my "me time". I love to get on top of that mountain, find my little corner, and meditate. That's my time with God. I just pray about everything I can think of when I'm up there. And I feel SOO much better, usually. Today, it wasn't so. My heart is very heavy today and it has been off and on for the past couple of weeks. Emotionally, I have been on a roller coaster. I won't go into details. But for those few of you out there who read my blog, just pray that God will change my heart...Like the song, Change My Heart O God, Make It Ever True!
Well, back to my story...I LOVE SLEEP. The problem is for the past year or so, I'm not able to do a lot of it. It's really hard for me to stay in bed past 6:30 or 7. AND I have trouble going to sleep! So, last night I went to bed about 9:30 or 10, and was wide awake at 5. Of course, did I become productive that early? Heck no...I layed around drinking coffee.
My youngest son and I climbed this morning. We left home around 7:30 and were up on the top by 9:30 (it takes about 30 minutes to get there). I am frustrated that I didn't make it up within the normal 25 - 35 minutes. Last fall I was able to achieve it week after week. But now I just can't. I had to stop on the way up no less than 7 times. UGH! I guess I'll just have to work back up to that. At least I'm trying.
Mornings like this are my "me time". I love to get on top of that mountain, find my little corner, and meditate. That's my time with God. I just pray about everything I can think of when I'm up there. And I feel SOO much better, usually. Today, it wasn't so. My heart is very heavy today and it has been off and on for the past couple of weeks. Emotionally, I have been on a roller coaster. I won't go into details. But for those few of you out there who read my blog, just pray that God will change my heart...Like the song, Change My Heart O God, Make It Ever True!
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Moving On
Wow! What a whirlwind it's been since my last post.
So, you can see that the court date never happened. School ended and the kids are doing alright.
I moved closer to work, church, and other things recently. I LOVE my new place. It's a bit smaller, but it's cheaper, and I'm saving money on gas. I also quit smoking - about to celebrate month 5 smoke free - YAY ME!
The kids are alright but are not happy because they got what they wanted. "What do you mean?", you may ask? Well, it seems right after their father found out we weren't going to court, he picked up his girlfriend out of small town USA and married her. She's 20 years old with a 15 month old daughter (of which she has physical custody) and a 5 month old son (of which she does not have). Not going into all of her problems right now...So, remember that he is 44 years old. Kind of gross, isn't it?
My children are living in the house with the newlyweds and her child. They really are unhappy and never miss a beat to tell me just how unhappy they are. But, I remind them that while it is not their fault their father decided to up and marry a girl young enough to be their sister, they got what they wanted. They wanted to live with dad, and that's what they got. My sons do not understand when I say "you got what you wanted" that it's not meant as a punishment...it's simply consequences of the decision they were allowed to make.
A couple of times, my youngest has called or texted me to say that he's coming to live with me. My heart tells me that I should run and rescue him, but I did that last summer with both kids, and it went BAD! I let their father take advantage of me as the non-custodial parent. I'm done with that. So, my response to him has been, "You may not make that decision when you are upset. It has to be decided by both you and your father, and your father must handle all of the legal aspects in order for that to happen". He's not really happy with that, but he understands now.
My sons are now beginning to see how their dad has used them. It's hard for me as their mother to know what they are going through and not attempting a rescue. But, I think this is a lesson they are having to learn. Life can be difficult, even more so for kids sometimes.
My prayer is that their father will see "the light" at some point and be the father they need. And, I continue to pray that the Lord will change me...And He is.
I am not fooled into thinking that I am not where I am supposed to be at this point in my life. It is not by chance that I moved, found a new church home, etc. God has a plan for me, and I am staying faithful to Him so that I may discover this plan in His time, not mine. With God, it's all about timing, but His, not ours!
I'll keep writing...
So, you can see that the court date never happened. School ended and the kids are doing alright.
I moved closer to work, church, and other things recently. I LOVE my new place. It's a bit smaller, but it's cheaper, and I'm saving money on gas. I also quit smoking - about to celebrate month 5 smoke free - YAY ME!
The kids are alright but are not happy because they got what they wanted. "What do you mean?", you may ask? Well, it seems right after their father found out we weren't going to court, he picked up his girlfriend out of small town USA and married her. She's 20 years old with a 15 month old daughter (of which she has physical custody) and a 5 month old son (of which she does not have). Not going into all of her problems right now...So, remember that he is 44 years old. Kind of gross, isn't it?
My children are living in the house with the newlyweds and her child. They really are unhappy and never miss a beat to tell me just how unhappy they are. But, I remind them that while it is not their fault their father decided to up and marry a girl young enough to be their sister, they got what they wanted. They wanted to live with dad, and that's what they got. My sons do not understand when I say "you got what you wanted" that it's not meant as a punishment...it's simply consequences of the decision they were allowed to make.
A couple of times, my youngest has called or texted me to say that he's coming to live with me. My heart tells me that I should run and rescue him, but I did that last summer with both kids, and it went BAD! I let their father take advantage of me as the non-custodial parent. I'm done with that. So, my response to him has been, "You may not make that decision when you are upset. It has to be decided by both you and your father, and your father must handle all of the legal aspects in order for that to happen". He's not really happy with that, but he understands now.
My sons are now beginning to see how their dad has used them. It's hard for me as their mother to know what they are going through and not attempting a rescue. But, I think this is a lesson they are having to learn. Life can be difficult, even more so for kids sometimes.
My prayer is that their father will see "the light" at some point and be the father they need. And, I continue to pray that the Lord will change me...And He is.
I am not fooled into thinking that I am not where I am supposed to be at this point in my life. It is not by chance that I moved, found a new church home, etc. God has a plan for me, and I am staying faithful to Him so that I may discover this plan in His time, not mine. With God, it's all about timing, but His, not ours!
I'll keep writing...
New quote ~
I take on more and more work, but I never feel that I am overburdened, because I do everything for God!
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
News
Hey all! I have news, news, and news!
First of all, tomorrow, Thursday, April 9 will be 6 weeks nicotine-free for me. I am amazed that I've made it this far, but I know it's not me - it's God.
April 9 was also supposed to be my court date for custody. A few weeks back, my attorney called me to say that I just don't have a case. The kids are adamant that they want to be with their father and have made that known to everyone involved, including the counselor that was to testify in court. I find it amazing that kids have choices! These are under age boys that are failing school. But, of course, we know that kids will take the path of least resistance. At dad's they really don't have to do much, they certainly don't get punished if chores or homework assignments aren't completed, so what the hay!
I didn't post anything for a few weeks because I just couldn't deal with it. After the crying and praying and whining, I finally decided I will live. God has a plan for me....Not sure what it is, but I continue to pray that He will continue to guide me.
Do you believe in spiritual gifts? I certainly do, and I have decided that one of mine is the old-fashioned gift of gab....
Now, what am I going to do with it? And my answer is, I have no earthly idea. God will show me if I continue to lift it to Him in prayer. I am being led to something MUCH greater than I ever thought possible. Just not sure what!
Stay Blessed!
First of all, tomorrow, Thursday, April 9 will be 6 weeks nicotine-free for me. I am amazed that I've made it this far, but I know it's not me - it's God.
April 9 was also supposed to be my court date for custody. A few weeks back, my attorney called me to say that I just don't have a case. The kids are adamant that they want to be with their father and have made that known to everyone involved, including the counselor that was to testify in court. I find it amazing that kids have choices! These are under age boys that are failing school. But, of course, we know that kids will take the path of least resistance. At dad's they really don't have to do much, they certainly don't get punished if chores or homework assignments aren't completed, so what the hay!
I didn't post anything for a few weeks because I just couldn't deal with it. After the crying and praying and whining, I finally decided I will live. God has a plan for me....Not sure what it is, but I continue to pray that He will continue to guide me.
Do you believe in spiritual gifts? I certainly do, and I have decided that one of mine is the old-fashioned gift of gab....
Now, what am I going to do with it? And my answer is, I have no earthly idea. God will show me if I continue to lift it to Him in prayer. I am being led to something MUCH greater than I ever thought possible. Just not sure what!
Stay Blessed!
Monday, March 16, 2009
Update
#1. I am STILL smoke-free. Thursday, March 19, will be 3 weeks. I am so pumped! I never thought I'd be able to do it, but here I am. Of course, I am not foolish enough to think I've done this on my own. No Way! It's God!
#2. Court (custody) is 3 1/2 weeks away. I refuse to stress over it. I am working on an outline to give to my attorney. This outline will describe my strengths and things about me that I want covered at the hearing as well as, things I want covered with my ex. I am feeling realistic at this time. Possession is 9/10 of the law....That means I have about 10% chance of the change of custody. But my Daddy God can handle ANYTHING. Not me, but HIM. I can't do ANYTHING without HIM. So, my prayer is that God is changing MY heart, and that I am open to whatever happens. He will breeze me right through this situation. Am I scared? A little. I already have butterflies in my stomach when I think about it. But, fear does not come from God. So, when I begin feeling down, I have to remind myself (and have my support group remind me) of that. Then I pray. I pray earnestly for His will, not mine. He is preparing me for more, I just don't know exactly what. All in time.....all in time. Stay blessed! I know I am....Oh!
Here's my new "saying"....and yes, I copied it from someone...I don't know who, it was in an email:
"I'm too blessed to be stressed"
#2. Court (custody) is 3 1/2 weeks away. I refuse to stress over it. I am working on an outline to give to my attorney. This outline will describe my strengths and things about me that I want covered at the hearing as well as, things I want covered with my ex. I am feeling realistic at this time. Possession is 9/10 of the law....That means I have about 10% chance of the change of custody. But my Daddy God can handle ANYTHING. Not me, but HIM. I can't do ANYTHING without HIM. So, my prayer is that God is changing MY heart, and that I am open to whatever happens. He will breeze me right through this situation. Am I scared? A little. I already have butterflies in my stomach when I think about it. But, fear does not come from God. So, when I begin feeling down, I have to remind myself (and have my support group remind me) of that. Then I pray. I pray earnestly for His will, not mine. He is preparing me for more, I just don't know exactly what. All in time.....all in time. Stay blessed! I know I am....Oh!
Here's my new "saying"....and yes, I copied it from someone...I don't know who, it was in an email:
"I'm too blessed to be stressed"
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