Monday, March 16, 2009


#1. I am STILL smoke-free. Thursday, March 19, will be 3 weeks. I am so pumped! I never thought I'd be able to do it, but here I am. Of course, I am not foolish enough to think I've done this on my own. No Way! It's God!

#2. Court (custody) is 3 1/2 weeks away. I refuse to stress over it. I am working on an outline to give to my attorney. This outline will describe my strengths and things about me that I want covered at the hearing as well as, things I want covered with my ex. I am feeling realistic at this time. Possession is 9/10 of the law....That means I have about 10% chance of the change of custody. But my Daddy God can handle ANYTHING. Not me, but HIM. I can't do ANYTHING without HIM. So, my prayer is that God is changing MY heart, and that I am open to whatever happens. He will breeze me right through this situation. Am I scared? A little. I already have butterflies in my stomach when I think about it. But, fear does not come from God. So, when I begin feeling down, I have to remind myself (and have my support group remind me) of that. Then I pray. I pray earnestly for His will, not mine. He is preparing me for more, I just don't know exactly what. All in time.....all in time. Stay blessed! I know I am....Oh!

Here's my new "saying"....and yes, I copied it from someone...I don't know who, it was in an email:

"I'm too blessed to be stressed"

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Squawl Bag Day - Need a Cigarette!

So, have you ever had one of those days when you just couldn't quit crying? Ok, most men will say NEVER, and women will definitely say yes, even if it's been years.

Today has been one of those days for me. Church was great - as always. The company in church was great - as always. So, what's wrong? I couldn't tell ya. I haven't had a cigarette since the 26th. That's what - 3 days. This is absolutely INSANE! I feel like my life is over because I'm not puffing on a cigarette. I can not believe I am THIS addicted to cigarettes. I am having to take it one minute at a time today- just to keep from buying a pack. I am praying constantly "God get me through this". And HE is....I can't do this without HIM....

So, today I blame my squawling on the emotional roller coaster of quitting smoking. I think I'll go hang out at my sister's house for awhile. Better go for now....Stay Blessed!