Thursday, June 18, 2009

Moving On

Wow! What a whirlwind it's been since my last post.

So, you can see that the court date never happened. School ended and the kids are doing alright.

I moved closer to work, church, and other things recently. I LOVE my new place. It's a bit smaller, but it's cheaper, and I'm saving money on gas. I also quit smoking - about to celebrate month 5 smoke free - YAY ME!

The kids are alright but are not happy because they got what they wanted. "What do you mean?", you may ask? Well, it seems right after their father found out we weren't going to court, he picked up his girlfriend out of small town USA and married her. She's 20 years old with a 15 month old daughter (of which she has physical custody) and a 5 month old son (of which she does not have). Not going into all of her problems right now...So, remember that he is 44 years old. Kind of gross, isn't it?

My children are living in the house with the newlyweds and her child. They really are unhappy and never miss a beat to tell me just how unhappy they are. But, I remind them that while it is not their fault their father decided to up and marry a girl young enough to be their sister, they got what they wanted. They wanted to live with dad, and that's what they got. My sons do not understand when I say "you got what you wanted" that it's not meant as a's simply consequences of the decision they were allowed to make.

A couple of times, my youngest has called or texted me to say that he's coming to live with me. My heart tells me that I should run and rescue him, but I did that last summer with both kids, and it went BAD! I let their father take advantage of me as the non-custodial parent. I'm done with that. So, my response to him has been, "You may not make that decision when you are upset. It has to be decided by both you and your father, and your father must handle all of the legal aspects in order for that to happen". He's not really happy with that, but he understands now.

My sons are now beginning to see how their dad has used them. It's hard for me as their mother to know what they are going through and not attempting a rescue. But, I think this is a lesson they are having to learn. Life can be difficult, even more so for kids sometimes.

My prayer is that their father will see "the light" at some point and be the father they need. And, I continue to pray that the Lord will change me...And He is.

I am not fooled into thinking that I am not where I am supposed to be at this point in my life. It is not by chance that I moved, found a new church home, etc. God has a plan for me, and I am staying faithful to Him so that I may discover this plan in His time, not mine. With God, it's all about timing, but His, not ours!

I'll keep writing...

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