Friday, June 25, 2010

What?! It's June 2010 Already?!

I just realized it's been 7 months since my last blog...REALLY?! Holy Cow!

I can't believe it's the end of June either. The heat is here to stay for a while!

These last months have been great. I work, but more importantly, I spend time with those that matter. My boyfriend and his kids have come to mean so much to me.

However, I miss my boys so much! I miss the boys that wanted mom around. You know what I mean. They get older and grow AWAY from us. Even when they live in a normal home, kids grow AWAY from their parents. In my situation, my kids want me when THEY want me. I have actually become the EVIL parent since November, or so they think. I decided one day that I would no longer allow them to fight and argue in my home. In addition, if they and their dad couldn't be on time to swap, I stopped waiting. I spent so many years doing everything for them. Then I just stopped. That being said, I've only seen them a handful of times since November. We had Christmas in March (I kept their gifts in their bedroom at my place).

Now, I know a lot of people reading this will be quick to judge me. And that's okay. Judge me. But you really don't know what you will do in a situation until you've had to go through it. I used to be the judge for everything. Believe me, my sisters will agree. I WAS THE GOODY TWO SHOES OF OUR FAMILY. I thought I knew it all and was proud to tell anyone who would listen. I am very fortunate I never got punched in the face. Divorce? Oh, I would never go through that....the only reason that would EVER happen would be if he cheated on me. And for that, I would just kill him and get it over with. Kids? Oh, yeah, my boys would be perfect. They would make good grades if it killed me. They would turn in those assignments - period. Backtalk? My boys wouldn't backtalk me. No way! I'd whip their butts....You get the picture.

So, to those reading this that I may have hurt in the past, I'm sorry. Because I didn't know. I didn't know the deep heartache I would feel when my kids chose to live with their dad. I didn't know I would get to the point that I just keep their bedroom door closed at my place, because I can't stand going in their room. Quite simply, I miss them. My advice to myself is: continue to take it one day at a time. One of these days they will come around.

Now, enough of that whiney crap. Work is the same ~ GREAT. I just passed my 9 year mark. I am blessed. I love my customers and the folks I work with. We recently lost someone but they went to a better opportunity for their family. We can't ever blame someone for doing better. But I miss them. My coworkers are my kids. So when one leaves, that's a child of mine that has moved on. So, we now have a new person starting in a couple of weeks. I am sure it will be fine.

Summertime is my slow time. While the guys are taking upwards of 200 calls a day, I am plugging along at an almost normal rate ~ you know, unlike the frantic running I do around the office from September to April. The lull gives me a chance to work with the sales guys to learn more product information and take sales calls. Really, I can't complain.

Ya know how Mondays are always dreaded? Well, a few months ago, I just decided to stop that. Really...I don't dread them anymore. My new thing for a while was Happy Monday. I would say Happy Monday to everyone. Yes, yes, I know....I am the freak that everyone loves to hate. The cheerful person that should be shot upon entry to the facility. But, I have to say, it works for me. I don't have bad days anymore. In fact, every day is a Happy day....I even have a couple of customers that call just to say Happy Tuesday or whatever. It works. I changed me...wait a minute...did you read that? I just said "I changed me". Shame on me!!! No, I didn't do it. God did. God did it...He changed me. And isn't He the best? Of course he is! So, no more bad days at work. They just aren't an option!!!

Also, I've decided ~ with the influence of my boyfriend ~ that failure isn't an option. Period! He and I spoke about that this morning. Look, this is only life, right? Sure, it's hard. God never promised us an easy road. We just keep going. Done....

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