Thursday, December 18, 2008

What a Life - Continued

So, in 2003, the judge awarded custody of my children to their father simply because I would not move back to that county. I had been in fear of my life. It was unfair, and for a long time, several months, I simply wasn't alright.

I worked 2 jobs and began helping the kids with their homework AT THEIR DAD's. YES, ALL WOMEN CAN CALL ME CRAZY, BUT I DID THIS FOR OVER 5 YEARS!!!

In 2004, I remarried. I thought this guy hung the moon, and he thought I did too. It was great for about a year and a half. Then I noticed his anger would burst at the smallest things. Or, he would freak out just trying to fix something to eat. It took a while to sink in that things weren't right. He began to isolate himself any time the kids were over. Then came the complete opposite. He would feel so sorry for the kids for what they had to endure at their father's house, that they could get away with anything. We began counseling in 2006 - mainly to help him understand what living with teenagers is about.

Then we found out that my oldest, 14 at the time, had begun cutting himself. I spoke to his dad about getting him back into counseling. I don't know what his father thought waiting would do for him, but he just wouldn't get him a counselor. So, I took him to court for custody. Husband #2 was gung-ho for this, and seemed to want my children out of that situation. As time crept along, waiting for the court date, etc., it (relationship with #2) just didn't get any better. My child, on the other hand, began to thrive. With me helping him, school grades came up, and relationships with peers improved. My youngest child just seemed to take everything in stride.

I ended up settling out of court with #1 because my child was doing better, and I wasn't in a position to move to be in the same school district.

Things rocked on until Christmas Eve 2007. #2, the kids, & I had been over at #1's parents house so the kids could open gifts. Upon leaving, we realized that the kids had left their meds at #1's. So, we leave the grandparents and head down to get their meds. All is well until the four of us leave #1's to head home. The kids had been fussing back and forth as teenagers do, and per the counselor's advise for the past 2 years - GO FIGURE. All of a sudden #2 goes nuts about how he's "not gonna have any of this f*****" blah, blah, blah....Anyway, it got worse from there. He went ballistic, and I ended up putting him out on the side of the road after he slapped me while I was driving. I had to get the kids home safely before I could do anything else. So, I did.

After that happy little holiday episode, #2 and I tackled counseling fervently! We were there every week. I found out that he had relapsed on drugs and alcohol. In a twisted way, to him, I deserved the way he treated me because I was against his addictions. Now, in my defense - HE WAS CLEAN & SOBER WHEN WE MET & HAD BEEN FOR SOME TIME. However, it just goes to show you that it takes a LONG TIME to get to know someone.

From the Christmas Holidays '07 until I left in April '08, anytime the kids were visting me, #2 would spend the weekend at his parents' because he couldn't cope. In March '08, he cornered me in the kitchen to "beat the hell out of me". Thank God the kids weren't there. Needless to say, I moved shortly after.

So, now here I am Single Again, working 2 jobs, and realizing that life can be okay alone.

I am fighting for custody with #1 right now. The kids are failing school, and things just aren't right. I never do anything 1/2 way....Either I'm in all the way or I'm out. So for now, I am waiting to go to court for custody. We'll see what happens!

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